Parshat Chayei Sarah

The Holy Torah says in this week's Parsha: "And the life of Sarah was one hundred years and twenty years and seven years — the years of the life of Sarah" (Bereishit 23:1). Let us come and ask: why does the Torah repeat and say at the end of the verse, "the years of the life of Sarah"? What is the meaning of these words?

Rather, we can state a great principle. It is known that Sarah Imeinu passed away before her time; Sarah Imeinu was supposed to live several more dozens of years, but because she heard of the Akeidah (Binding) of Yitzchak, her soul flew from her. If so, when she ascended to Heaven, where they go according to the Heavenly Court, she lived one hundred and twenty-seven years — what about the years that were lacking from her because she died before her time? Will she receive reward for them or not?

Here one must know a great principle: when a person passes away before his time, G-d goes and counts his life: if during the time he was alive he conducted himself in holiness, purity, modesty, and restraint, and most of his days were spent in righteousness and holiness, then G-d fills in for him his life — even the time in which he was not alive, G-d fills those years with merits as though he had lived them! However, if his life was not full of Torah and mitzvot, G-d does not fill in the time that was lacking when he passed away before his time.

And this is what the Holy Torah says (Shemot 23:26): "I will fill the number of your days." When a person dies before his time, G-d fills for him the days that were lacking from him in This World when he died prematurely — with mitzvot and good deeds — if for most of his life he walked in mitzvot and good deeds. Sarah Imeinu, who was righteous and holy and died before her time, was given by G-d "the years of the life of Sarah" for both types of life: for the life that she actually lived in righteousness and holiness, and also for the years remaining after she died before her time — G-d filled them as though she had lived in them, giving her reward as though she had fulfilled mitzvot and good deeds during those days! And this is a great principle: even if a person was once prevented from performing a mitzvah, if for most of his life he did fulfill that mitzvah, G-d fills it in and gives him reward as though he actually fulfilled that mitzvah.

"All of Them Were Equally Good": Even Hardships Are From Hashem

On the verse, "And the life of Sarah was one hundred years and twenty years and seven years — the years of the life of Sarah," Rashi comments: "They were all equally good" — meaning that her entire life was equally good and everything was good in her life. We must ask a strong question: how can one say about the life of Sarah that all her years were equally good?! Sarah was barren until the age of ninety — can one call that a good life? A woman who was abducted to the house of Pharaoh and abducted to the house of Avimelech — can one say all her years were equally good? A woman whose husband passed through ten existential trials and was cast into the fiery furnace and prison — how can one say of the sufferings that Sarah Imeinu went through that "they were all equally good"?

Rather, we can explain a great principle: a human being can go through all the troubles in the world, yet the moment he knows that this is the will of Hashem and that Hashem placed him there and gives him the strength to stand in that place, it is a sign that this is the will of Hashem, and he is at peace with it — even if it is difficult and painful, it is the will of Hashem! Sarah Imeinu took all the trials — ninety years without children, the years Avraham was in prison, her abduction to the houses of Pharaoh and Avimelech, the ten trials of her husband — and said, "This is the will of Hashem," accepting it with a good spirit, with understanding and joy! Therefore, for her, "they were all equally good," because she knew that everything was from Hashem and everything was for her ultimate good.

Our Sages said (Shabbat 105b) that whoever weeps over an upright person is forgiven for all his sins; and Rav Yehudah said in the name of Rav: Whoever is lazy in eulogizing a Torah scholar deserves to be buried alive! Whoever mourns and weeps over a Torah scholar merits great things, whereas one who hears that a tzaddik or Torah scholar has passed away and does not weep or grieve is punished severely.

In this week's Parsha we find: "And Avraham came to eulogize Sarah and to weep for her (velivkotah)" (Bereishit 23:2), and in the Torah scroll the word velivkotah is written with a small letter kaf. Since every letter and crown in the Torah contains hidden secrets, why is the letter kaf written small? The commentators explain that Avraham Avinu wept only a little over Sarah and did not weep much over her. We must ask a strong question: why didn't Avraham Avinu weep greatly over Sarah, who was a supreme tzadeket (called Yiskah because she beheld with Ruach HaKodesh)?

Rather, we can explain thus: The Gemara says (Rosh Hashanah 16b) in the name of Rabbi Yitzchak: Four things tear up a harsh decree against a person — charity, crying out in prayer, changing one's name, and changing one's place (or deeds). We can understand why prayer and charity tear up a decree, but why does changing one's name or moving from one city to another tear up a decree?

Here one must know a great principle: every change that a person makes in his life affects him and causes him a certain sadness in his heart! Even when a person moves from a small house to a large, magnificent house, or between winter and summer, or even when a groom and bride get married in great joy (which is why we must gladden them for seven days), every change from what a person was accustomed to causes a trace of sadness in the heart — and that sadness serves as an atonement for sins, tearing up the decree! Similarly, the two hardest transitions for a human being are birth (leaving the mother's womb into the world) and death (when the soul leaves This World and must adjust to the World to Come).

However, Sarah Imeinu was so righteous and holy that her life in This World and the World to Come were the exact same thing! She walked in the "lands of the living" — living in This World just as in the World to Come, beholding with Ruach HaKodesh. Therefore, for her, passing from This World to the World to Come involved no change and no sadness at all! And that is why velivkotah is written with a small kaf: because there was no great sorrow in her passing, as she seamlessly entered a world that was entirely good without any painful transition.

"From Hashem the Matter Has Gone Forth": Only G-d Pairs Soulmates

In this week's Parsha, Avraham Avinu sends Eliezer to bring a match (shidduch) for Yitzchak, and it is written in the holy books that reading this Parsha awakens the auspicious time and power for shidduchim! Therefore, those who have not yet merited a match should be meticulous during these days to pray and awaken the time to merit a worthy soulmate.

It is told that a great king once asked a sage what G-d does all day, and the sage replied (Bereishit Rabbah 68:4) that G-d sits and pairs soulmates. The king boasted, "I can easily do that too!" The sage told him, "Many before you tried and failed." One day, the king saw a beautiful, poor maiden passing in the street. He handed her a sealed letter addressed to a great minister in a distant city, promising her a hundred gold coins for delivering it; in the letter, he commanded the minister to marry the bearer of the letter! Along the way, an elderly, toothless beggar woman asked the maiden for charity. Out of pity, the maiden handed the letter to the old woman so that she could deliver it to the minister and collect the hundred gold coins instead. When the minister opened the king's letter, he had no choice but to marry the old woman who brought it! Later, at a royal banquet, the king saw the minister putting soft cakes into his pockets for his toothless, elderly wife, and realized the truth of the sage's words: only G-d Himself can pair soulmates!

In this week's Parsha we see that Avraham Avinu sends his servant Eliezer — a man of lofty soul — to bring a wife for his son Yitzchak, after G-d had blessed Avraham with everything (Bereishit 24:1). Avraham makes Eliezer swear to bring a bride without excuses, and gives him ten camels laden with gifts and a deed gifting all of Avraham's wealth to Yitzchak. On the way to Charan, Eliezer experiences the miracle of the contraction of the earth (kefitzat haderech), arriving on the very day he set out, and shows Lavan and Betuel the dated deed proving he departed that very day.

When Eliezer speaks with Betuel and Lavan about the match and shows them the gifts, Betuel and Lavan initially say: "From Hashem the matter has gone forth... Behold, Rivkah is before you; take her and go!" (24:50–51) — telling him brusquely to take her and leave immediately without staying even a moment. Then Eliezer brings out jewelry and garments and gives them to Rivkah. Suddenly, Betuel is gone, and Lavan stands up and changes his mind completely, saying: "Let the maiden remain with us a year or ten months; after that she may go!" (24:55). Why did Lavan suddenly reverse his position?

Let us explain a great principle: every person has something that sustains and animates him. For the wicked Lavan, what sustained him was wickedness, deceit, and strife — he wanted his entire family to remain wicked like him! When Lavan first saw Eliezer arrive with the immense wealth of Avraham, and heard that Yitzchak was inheriting everything, Lavan thought to himself: "My sister Rivkah will marry the son of this wealthy man, and all that money will cause her and her children to become spoiled and spiritually ruined — 'Yeshurun grew fat and kicked!' (Devarim 32:15). They will buy fancy chariots, mansions, and vacations, and they will deteriorate and become corrupt just like me!" Therefore, Lavan initially told Eliezer: "Take Rivkah and go right now!" — because he was sure Avraham's wealth would corrupt her anyway.

However, the moment Lavan saw the garments that Eliezer gave to Rivkah — modest garments with long sleeves and long skirts, imbued with the supreme modesty (tzniut) that Sarah Imeinu wore — Lavan realized: "If their modesty is so great and they have so many protective boundaries, the money will never corrupt them and they will never deteriorate!" Immediately, Lavan reversed himself and tried to keep Rivkah in his house for a year or ten months to corrupt her himself, and when she refused to stay, he gave her a wicked "blessing" that her descendants should be corrupted (which is why G-d made Rivkah barren until Yitzchak prayed for her, so that her children would be born from Yitzchak's prayer and not from Lavan's blessing).

Whoever guards his garments, his conduct, and the modesty of his family will never be corrupted — just as Bnei Yisrael were redeemed from Egypt in the merit of not changing their names (Yaakov remained Yaakov and Yosef remained Yosef, never changing their names to gentile names), their modest Jewish clothing, and their holy Hebrew language. When a person guards the foundations of modesty in his home and is exact with his children's dress, speech, and behavior, no external wealth or foreign influence can ever harm them, and he will merit immense Heavenly assistance (Siyata Dishmaya).

When the Children of Israel went out of Egypt and reached the Sea of Reeds (Yam Suf), G-d split the sea into twelve separate pathways — one for each tribe — with transparent walls of water between each tribe so they could see one another. Why? To make known that there are several legitimate paths in the service of Hashem; no path contradicts the other, and in the end all of them unite into one!

Therefore, a person must beware of entering into disputes with people whose legitimate path in serving Hashem differs from his own. Serving Hashem is like a tree: the Rav is the trunk, and the disciples are the branches and roots. Every person's soul-root is bound to his tree, and one cannot invalidate another tree! Whoever harms a Rav harms the root and trunk of the tree, and there is no remedy for his wound — just as Rabbi Yochanan did not forgive Reish Lakish when he slighted his academy's honor.

Thus we find the painful historical dispute surrounding Rabbeinu the Rambam. In the Rambam's era, the Sephardic sages in Spain, Portugal, and Venice were involved in royal courts and medicine, and the Rambam wrote Moreh Nevuchim (Guide for the Perplexed) to guide future generations on how to guard Jewish tradition while navigating science, medicine, and daily life. Meanwhile, the Ashkenazic sages in Germany and France — the Tosafists — focused exclusively on sitting in the study hall over the intricacies of the Talmud. When the Rambam's philosophical works reached France, some placed bans on them until the dispute spiraled out of control and the Rambam's books were burned in France — which was tragically followed shortly thereafter by a royal decree in France burning the entire Talmud! Rabbeinu Yonah ztzuk"l, who had initially opposed the Rambam's works, recognized the terrible mistake, repented with all his heart, authored the holy mussar work Sha'arei Teshuvah, and dedicated the rest of his days to traveling from city to city to uplift the Rambam's honor and warn the world of how dispute destroys every good portion.

Never Go Against What G-d Has Done

A terrifying story is told about the supreme holy tzaddik, Rabbi Tzvi Hirsch of Riminov (whose Hilula is 30 MarCheshvan), when the young "Divrei Chaim" of Sanz was studying in his court. One day, a destitute man came running to Rabbi Tzvi Hirsch of Riminov crying: "Rebbe, my wife is in labor and critically ill; the doctors say that if she does not give birth within an hour, both she and the baby will die! Please pray for our salvation!"

Rabbi Tzvi Hirsch of Riminov said to him: "If you give me ten gold coins right now, I will pray that your wife gives birth quickly." The poor man cried, "Rebbe, I am penniless! I only have two coins to my name!" The Rebbe asked, "How much are your furniture, clothes, and family jewelry worth?" "Perhaps ten gold coins altogether," the man replied. "Go quickly and sell everything!" the Rebbe commanded.

The young Divrei Chaim of Sanz, standing nearby, was shocked and thought, "What cruelty is this?!" He called the poor man aside and said: "Listen, I am young, but I too have great ancestral merit (zechut avot). I will stand on the side and pray for twenty minutes; if your wife gives birth within twenty minutes, you won't have to sell your belongings for ten gold coins!" The Divrei Chaim stood and wept in prayer, and within twenty minutes the woman gave birth safely! The young Divrei Chaim rejoiced, thinking he had saved the man both his wife and his ten gold coins.

Yet the Divrei Chaim writes in his book that for the rest of his life he wept in bitter remorse over this! Why? Because a few weeks later, both that woman and her newborn baby fell ill and died! The Divrei Chaim realized: the holy Rebbe of Riminov saw with Ruach HaKodesh that a harsh heavenly decree of death hovered over the woman and child, and the only way to sweeten and annul that decree was through the painful sacrifice of the husband selling all his possessions (since poverty is considered like death, it would have redeemed their lives)! "I thought I was wise and interfered in the matter of a holy tzaddik," the Divrei Chaim wept. A person must accept G-d's ways with love and never force matters against the hidden wisdom of Heaven.